Success

As my birthday is coming up, I started thinking about success and what it means and whether or not I have lived a successful life thus far. And upon reflection, I think I've decided that I am still unclear on what success looks like, but I think I have a pretty good working definition of failure.

A few weeks ago, I hopped on the metro and was unable to find a seat. Metro travelers know that this is a tragedy. I had not had breakfast yet, so I was already feeling a little weak, but I decided that even this moment of mini-tragedy could be a moment of love. The Catholic saying is "Offer it up" but sometimes we say it stoically, as if means the same thing as "Suck it up," and it can't be that. "Offer it up" means to love fully in the moment and to ask God to help you love even the worst parts of that moment. So I stood.

And as I stood, I noticed something. There was a young man with a secret smile, a smile to himself that he probably thought no one else had noticed. My curiosity was piqued -- what was he smiling at? I followed his gaze and saw a young mother with a baby girl. There was joy in her face as she interacted with her baby, even though she was standing and had not gotten a seat. My eye went back to the young man's smile which betrayed a hint of desire, as if he wanted to be a father himself.

Another young woman saw the baby and smiled, but couldn't keep her smile to herself. She started playing with the baby, making goofy faces, unaware of anyone else watching. The mother and she enjoyed a moment of laughter and the baby laughed before the other woman got off at another metro stop.

Another older woman saw the baby, too, and I saw again a secret smile from someplace far away, perhaps from a memory of her own baby.

Then something wonderful occurred. An older gentleman, about three rows behind the mother, suddenly noticed her and stood up, gesturing and offering his seat. He had a huge smile on his face as she gently and politely accepted. He knew he had done something good, and was proud of it, as if that may be the most important thing he would do all day. It was one of those moments on the metro where you want to cheer for all of humanity, for the simple ordinary heroic action of offering up a seat out of love for a stranger and her baby. But when I turned around to cheer with someone else, there was only a sea of faces buried in cell phones and ears plugged with iPods. There was no one to cheer with because no one around me had noticed.

I don't think I know what success is, but now I know what failure is. Failure is to miss the moments of humanity and joy that are surrounding us every day... "We had the experience but missed the meaning..." that is failure.

Success must be something like really living.