Limitations

I think we have a funny way of looking at commitments. On one hand, we over-use the word "yes." We hate to say no. On the other hand, we seem to have secret some secret fantasy to pull an Eat, Pray, Love and run off to some other land and forget all of our obligations altogether.

My dad always says that life is a balance, and there certainly is a tension here that must be balanced. On one hand, at times our indifference leads us to be afraid of commitments, afraid of consequences, and we refuse to act at all. On the other hand, sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we can do it all and have it all and we wind up scattered and unable to simply be. 

Whenever I feel a pull to either extreme, I somehow wind up at my favorite bagel shop. I can't quite explain it, but it's such a wonderful slice of humanity (bagel puns? really, Barbara?) in a world that so often seems un-human.

On Sunday morning I order a Black Russian bagel with cream cheese and a medium coffee and I sit in the corner. I start thinking about the past week. And over the past few weeks, a sneaking suspicion has come over me that maybe this is where we figure out life -- not in running away from it, either by too many obligations or by avoiding obligations, but in really living in the moment. In tasting and savoring the moment -- seriously, those are the best bagels.  In smelling the morning coffee. In listening to the banter of those behind the counter.

And that's all. The experience of the bagel shop is limited to tastes and smells and banter. But that's life, isn't it? It's made up of those little things. It is limited to what we see and hear in the moment; truth comes through the senses, and our senses are limited to a very particular time and place. It is necessary to embrace our limitations, embrace our little piece of time and space, in order to truly know ourselves and to know what things we ought to say "yes" and "no" to. What are the things we need to say "yes" to, even if they are difficult, in order to bring us to true freedom? What are the unnecessary things we need to say "no" to, in order to acknowledge our limitations and truly give not just many things but ourselves? Maybe it's in these little, limited experiences that God creates a space our hearts to begin to answer these questions.

Speaking of which -- I think this is where I have to end my post. A Dallas Cowboys fan has walked in to the room, and the banter has resumed. I think I will enjoy watching what happens next.