Day by day of the Christmas season, the Gospels unfolded each chaotic and strange occurrence: an oppressive regime, an unexpected night with no lodging to be had, a gaggle of poor shepherds, wise men from the East, the chilling violence of King Herod. There is the confusion of losing Jesus in the temple, the wonder and amazement at finding him among the temple elders -- and this line, one of the few lines that Mary utters in the Gospels, which has resonated with me this Christmas season: "Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, in sorrow your father and I have been seeking you."
I feel in many ways that this has been my prayer, too, all through the Advent and Christmas seasons. All through these seasons I have searched for time alone, to pray, to be with God and to experience the joy of the season. But -- that is not what happened. Life happened. Good things happened, bad things happened: things happened too fast to make meaning of.
Still, the Gospels are comforting because they paint a picture of a first Christmas that was also rather chaotic, and the narratives of Christ's childhood read after Christmas are equally chaotic, and depict Mary, his mother, also not always certain how to make meaning of the sorrows and anxieties of daily life. And to those of us who do take the spiritual meaning of Christmas seriously, to meet with so many unexpected challenges can feel like a betrayal, an abandonment: "Why have you treated us so? We have been seeking you."
And so I find comfort in the answer Mary comes up with as well; twice the Gospels say that she "took these things, and pondered them in her heart."
I am staying close to this line, staying close to Mary who stays close to Jesus as she ponders these things that unfold; so unlike the forceful chaos around her, she waits patiently for the meaning to reveal itself, for God to make himself known in this world.
